


not while i'm here

by cptnjvnes



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Light Angst, Mentions of Abusive Relationship, Minor Violence, Non-Graphic Violence, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:07:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptnjvnes/pseuds/cptnjvnes
Summary: Killian Jones has been in love with a particular blonde neighbour for awhile now. When she comes to his door in the middle of the night injured and needing a place to stay, Killian is more than willing to help her. Oh, how he wishes he could muster up the courage to tell her his growing feelings he harbours for her.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Emma Swan, Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ah hello babes! this is just a lil one shot i had written awhile ago before i made this account, so the storyline might be a lil wonky so i apologise for that ehe - anyways, enjoy the story. kisses <3
> 
> also // TW for mentions of abuse !! pls proceed with caution if this disturbs you !!

Killian Jones was lazily strumming the strings of his guitar on the floor of his studio apartment. He had work tomorrow, and staying up late while nursing a glass of rum was probably not his best idea. Alas, he was an adult, and he’s pretty sure that he can handle it. Plus, he really needs something strong to get his mind off things.

He couldn’t sleep even if he wanted to anyway. A particular blonde was haunting his dreams, and the thought of her wrecked his heart. He loved that woman, and it hurts knowing she’ll never be his, but he has come to accept it.

Swan’s happiness was all he could ever wish for, even if it’s not with him.

What did make his blood boil was her current relationship. Through an outsider’s eye, Neal Cassidy was the dream man. Loving, caring, protective, and even a business that could make money to support generations. 

Though, Killian knew it was all just a facade. He was in fact, as Killian would like to describe him, a bloody bastard.

//

He first noticed it a few weeks back when he bumped into her at the lift lobby. They lived in the same apartment, so that was not a surprising factor. He was a little taken aback since he hasn’t seen her in awhile since she had gotten together with Neal. He was further surprised to see her look so distraught.

She didn’t seem to notice him, so he gently nudged her to get her attention.

“Swan, I haven’t seen you or heard from you in ages. Are you alright?” Killian had asked worriedly.

At first, she kept quiet, which didn’t calm his worries for her.

Why was he so worried anyway? He didn’t know. All he knows is that he wants to ensure she is safe and happy. If she was in any sort of danger, he would dive in headfirst to get her out of it.

“Swan, you seem uneasy, and please don’t say ‘it’s fine’, because I know you better than that. Something’s pestering you, and you know you can tell me anything right?” He prompted again. He knew her, and it’s probably not a good idea to push too much. But, he also needed to know if she was alright.

Eventually, he saw her walls come down a little as she sighed, looking up to him to meet him in the eyes.

“It’s just Neal, he’s been drinking a lot lately, and doesn’t seem to be himself when he comes home. Sometimes…” she sucked in a breath. “Sometimes he hits me, and threatened to do worse if I inform the police or something like that.”

He saw her cross her arms again and knew her walls were slowly going back up.

“You can’t put yourself through that, love. You need to leave him and inform the authorities! He could get out of hand and wor-“

“Don’t you think I know that?” She snapped. “Which is why I am trusting you not to tell anyone, Killian. Not David and Mary Margaret, not Ruby, not Granny, _no one_ , okay? Please.”

//

The knock on the door pulled Killian away from his train of thoughts. It was already 1:24 am, so who could it be? He sure as hell didn’t order any late-night pizza.

Worrying it might be something important, or someone might be hurt, he took quick steps to the door and opened it. 

“Emma? Love, what are you doin-“ He lost the words in his mouth when he saw the bruises on her arms and the gashes on her cheeks. 

“He did it again, didn’t he? Oh, I’m going to kill that bastard if it’s the last thing I do.” He was about to go out and find that swine, but his anger fizzled away when he heard her sniffle.

Hurriedly, he brought Emma in with gentle arms, who was currently shedding tears with silent sobs. Seeing his stubborn Swan like that hurt him. That usual fire in her eyes was gone, she looked pale and seemed like she hasn’t gotten proper rest in awhile.

He took some supplies from the bathroom and started cleaning at the gashes on her cheek. God, he hated the bastard that did this to her.

“Swan, what happened?” he asked softly, his face so close that he could smell the whiff of honey-almond shampoo that she used.

He saw Emma take a breath as if to compose herself before she started explaining. 

“He went out drinking again. I-I was pissed, he promised he wouldn’t do it again just the other night. He held me and promised he was going to change - that he loved me, that he didn’t want to lose me. I stupidly believed it.” She sobbed.

“Then today, he came home and started saying that I’m worthless, that nobody wants me. I got mad, of course, and started yelling at him. That’s when he started hitting me again.” She looked up at him, green eyes meeting his blue. “I’m sorry I came here, I had nowhere to go.”

Killian’s heart ached. Gently, he cupped her cheeks. “Emma Swan, you listen to me, never apologise for coming to me find me if you need me, I promised that I would be there for you, and I’m a man of my word.”

He then pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Secondly, nothing of what that bastard has uttered to you is true. I refuse to believe my Swan is going to let him get to her.” 

“Please don’t go back to him Swan, I can’t bear to see him hurt you like this again.” Killian reached for her hand and squeezed it. He was angry of course, but not at her - he doesn’t think he can ever be angry at her. Instead, he was angry at Neal Cassidy. 

Neal, an excuse of a man whose wrong to think that he’s even worthy of breathing near Emma. All he wants to do at the moment (except for ensuring Emma is comforted and safe), is to punch Neal and send him far, far away from her.

“You know I can’t do that, Killian. He’ll find me, and it’ll be even worse than the last time. It’s infuriating!” She cried, turning to face him. 

“How long more will he have control over my own life? I’m tired, Kil. I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I’ve tried to run away from him, he’s found me. He threatened not to call the police, if not you would get hurt.” Killian instinctively pulled her close, letting her cry into his shoulder. “Hell, if he finds me here...”

Killian shook his head. “Hush, Swan. He will not. He won’t lay another finger on you, not while I’m here. Do you hear me, love?” he said softly, rubbing small circles on her back in an attempt to comfort her. “Stay here for the night, get some rest, and don’t worry about it okay? He won’t hurt you.”

He could practically hear the thoughts in her head as she stayed silent. Finally, she turned her head and faced him. “I don’t want to be a bother, Killian. I’ve already barged into your house at nearly 2 am, and you’ve tended to my wounds and bruises, and no-“

“Ah shh, shh, shh. You’re never a bother to me, when will you understand that, love? It’d make me feel a lot better knowing you’re safe under this roof. Plus, knowing that you’re well-rested too. So, please, go wash up and get some rest.” 

That was his Swan. Always thinking about others before herself, sometimes a little too much. Always worrying she’s a bother or being afraid to be vulnerable. Time and time again, he’s tried to making her see otherwise, but it is to no avail. So, Killian decides to be patient and try again.

After a pregnant pause, he sees her nod. Reluctantly, he let her go and watched worriedly as she disappeared from view when she rounded the corner. Trying to busy himself instead, he cleaned up the medical supplies he had used from the first-aid kit. That is until he heard her clear her throat.

“Uhm, Kil, can you accompany me?” Emma was looking everywhere but directly into his eyes, and he knows because she was afraid of the judgment in his eyes.

_(He knows, because she’s an open book to him, of course.)_

So, instead, he takes her hand, squeezes it gently, and follows her to accompany her. He makes sure to respect her boundaries because, given her history with people like Neal, he doesn’t want to make her uncomfortable.

She was getting tired by the minute, and he was surprised that she made it to bed while still walking with her own two feet. Well, barely. 

“Tuck me in?” her sudden question broke the silence and he nearly dropped the extra blanket he was holding for her. Quickly getting out of his state of shock, he nodded. 

God, she looked so small and vulnerable. He missed her witty jokes and quick comebacks. All he wanted to do was ensure her everything was going to be alright.

“Of course, love.”

Once she was comfortable in bed, he pulled the covers over. She was practically already asleep by the time she laid down. He smiled, seeing her so relaxed and content. “Sweet dreams, Swan.”

Slowly, he sat on the side of the bed, careful to not make the bed dip so abruptly. “Neal won’t hurt you as long as I’m here, love. I swear on my life. I’ll make sure you’re safe. I love you, Emma Swan. More than you’ll ever know. Maybe one day I’ll find the courage to tell you this, but my heart will _always_ belong to you.” He placed a kiss to her temple before leaving the room with a small click of the door.

What he couldn’t hear after he left the room was Emma’s soft confession to the dark abyss.

“I love you too, Killian Jones.”


	2. safe with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After accidentally hearing Killian's confession, Emma realises that her feelings too have come to the surface. The morning after, she tries to face it, but things go way south from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay hi! i didn't expect to make a second chapter to this but it was requested by @NarrehStylan so this one's for you boo ehe :) this chapter is a lil rushed so it might be a lil messy, but i hope u enjoy it anyways! muahh <3
> 
> // TW !! this chapter includes violence so pls proceed with caution if it makes u uncomfortable !!

Emma Swan woke up to the smell of pancakes, and surprisingly, she felt like she had a good night of sleep for once. As she gained her bearings again and wiped the sleep from her eyes, she realised she wasn’t in her own bed.

Oh god, she was in Killian’s bed.

Last night’s memory came to her in a blur. She remembered waiting until Neal had fallen asleep in his drunken state before packing a small bag and heading out the door to the first place she could think of.

She also remembered Killian tending to her wounds and letting her open up a little.

She then remembered Killian’s confession.

Fuck. Killian Jones loved her. The man she had feelings for loved her. Emma Swan. The girl who had trouble with love practically since the day she was born.

Truth was, she had always harboured feelings for him. The way he cared for her, the way he genuinely worries for her. She has never once seen judgement in his eyes when she shares about herself with him.

But Emma Swan was scared. A more accurate word she would given herself was a coward. Killian was too good to be true. He was everything she wants and more.

Almost everything in her life has gone terribly wrong and she has herself convinced that if their relationships go more beyond just friends, it would ruin _everything._

She doesn’t think she can handle that.

She doesn’t think she can handle losing the one she secretly loves.

God, she was a mess.

Before she was able to throw the blankets off of her and open the door, it swung open to reveal Killian holding a tray of breakfast with his messy bed hair.

“Morning, love. I was about to bring you breakfast in bed.” He smiled, holding up the tray cheerfully.

Who even is capable of such a smile in the morning? Him, apparently.

“Uh, yeah, thanks. You know you didn’t have to trouble yourself, right? I could have just had some Pop-Tarts or something.” Emma wanted to deny the offer since she feels like she was intruding already, but the grumble of her stomach betrayed her.

Killian chuckled, “Really? Anything is better than those. Anyways, judging from that, I’d say you’re hungry. Tell you what, why don’t we have dinner downstairs together?” He prompted instead in which Emma could only respond with a silent nod.

After they had settled down to eat their breakfast, a comfortable silence fell over them. Though, Emma sensed there was a question looming in his mind.

“Spit it out, Kil.”

She heard Killian shuffle in his seat before a sigh escaped his lips. “I’m just worried about you, love. I care about you deeply, and to know what that idiot put you through pains me. I don’t want him near you anymore.”

“I appreciate it, but I know how to take care of myself. He’ll go away eventually. I don’t want to trouble anyone because of a silly problem.” She said instead.

“A silly problem?” He asked incredulously. “Swan, this is-“ His sentence was cut off by a loud pounding on the door. Suppressing a groan of annoyance, he tried to ignore it, but the person clearly did not want to go away. 

Killian got out of the chair and opened the door. Only to reveal a pissed off looking Neal Cassidy standing on the other side of the doorway.

“Where is she?”

“Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about, mate. She’s not here, so I suggest you bugger off.” Before Killian was able to slam the door in his face, he pushed it open and walked in, shoving him aside rather forcefully.

Emma felt bile rise up to her throat when Neal’s eyes landed on her. Truthfully, she already accepted her fate and what was going to come next. Though, that didn’t stop the impending fear building inside of her at the moment.

“You little whore. I told you not to pull off a stunt like that, didn’t I?” He seethed after he grabbed Emma by the arm.

“We’re going home, and I’m going to make sure you learn your lesson.”

“Let go of me! I’m not going to follow you anywhere!”

Scoffing, he tightened his grip on her wrist. The next thing Killian knows was that his fist was colliding with Neal’s jaw, leaving a nasty bloody bruise behind.

“You have no right to touch her like that, or to force her to go anywhere, and you especially have no right to treat her the way that you do. So, before I phone the police, I suggest you _fuck_ off Neal.” Emma heard him say as he moved to stand in front of her.

“Oh, and you do? I’m sorry but the last time I recalled, I was the boyfriend. Not you. So how about I suggest you to not interfere in our business instead?” Neal said, his fingers ghosting the bruise Killian had left.

Emma twisted out of his grasp, and not really to Killian’s surprise because he knows his Swan, gave Neal a slap across the face “Not anymore. You’re an abusive, lying, manipulative piece of shit that I never want to see again. I can’t believe I fell for someone I like you.”  
Without warning, Neal lounged at Emma and shoved her across the room, hitting the corner of the counter as she let out a pained gasp.

“Emma!” She heard him called out worriedly, rushing over to help her. Her eyebrows were furrowed, eyes squeezed shut as her face contorted with pain.

“Swan? Are you okay?” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face when she felt the of flow blood trickling down. Damn. She didn’t even realised that she had hit her head.

Before she could give a nod, she heard the clanking of metal. Looking up, she saw Neal had taken a knife into his hold. Her breath got caught in her throat. She knew Neal’s behaviour, but she had never thought it would go this far.

Killian rises up from his spot and put his hands up as he slowly approached him. “Mate, listen here, nobody has to get hurt. Put the knife down and we can settle this rationally.”

“Oh so now you want to settle things rationally? I told you, man, this could have all be avoided if you just let her go home with me. Guess it has to be this way.”

Emma was barely able to get her bearings back when she heard Killian yell. Realisation settled into her when she saw the blood that was soaking up his shirt and dripping on the floor.

“No!” She managed to get over to him before he fell to the ground with a loud thud.

“No, no, no, stay with me, please?” Her trembling fingers were hovering over his would while the other hand was frantically dialing for the ambulance.

Before she was able to hit ‘call’, her phone was kicked away from her grasp.

“You really think you would win this situation? Now that I got him settled, it’s you next.” The knife nicked her neck and as he said each word, the more pressure he would put on it.

As Emma closed her eyes and accepted her fate, she heard a thud. Opening her eyes, she saw David in front of her while Mary Margaret was in front of Killian.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” Her brother pulled her into a hug before checking her wounds.  
In her state of shock, Emma could only nod. Closing her eyes to clear the daze, realisation settled into her. Killian was badly Injured.

She rushed to his side and stroked his hair. He was so pale, the amount of blood he had lost was terrifying. She knew the ambulance was coming, but that didn’t ease her worries.

“Hold on, please. I can’t lose you.” His hand ghosted her cheeks. She knew he was barely able to stay conscious, and if anything happened to him, she would lose herself.

The sirens of the ambulance drowned out all of her thoughts. It was an entire haze when the paramedics came in and put Killian on the stretcher. She felt Mary Margaret pulling her back gently while David said comforting words, but what she did remember for certain was that she never let go of his hand.

//

“Swan?” A voice startled her awake. Sitting up straight, she realised that she had fallen asleep on the chair. Well, sort of. Her head was resting on the bed.

Blinking away the sleepiness, she also came to realise that the voice belonged to a certain Jones.

“You’re awake!” The chair squeaked as it was pushed back when Emma wrapped her arms around him.

“You’re okay, you’re awake, you’re okay.” She had practically buried her face in the crook of his neck, her fingers running through his hair.

She felt Killian’s arm tighten around her, hushing her gently as he held her.

She didn’t even realise that she had been crying.

“Hey, Swan, I’m okay. See?” He took her hand and placed it over his beating heart. “See, I’m okay. Healing, but okay.”

“I thought I lost you. I thought I would never be able to see you, or get a hug from you, or hear your annoying, stupid voice ever again.” That earned a rumble from Killian’s chest.

She lightly smacked his chest. “It’s not funny!”

“I’m sorry Swan, but you did just described my voice as annoying and stupid as part of the things that you would miss me about me.” 

When that didn’t make her smile, he cupped her cheeks and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.

“I promise you, you won’t ever lose me, so you don’t have to worry okay? I’m a survivor, love.” He kissed the tip of her nose and held her close.

As much as Emma Swan didn’t want to lose him, Killian Jones didn’t want to lose her.

“I care for you, like a lot. You know that, right? Like if anything were to happen to you I-“ She sighed. “I care for you.”

_I love you._

To her surprise, Killian kissed her forehead as his thumb rubbed the back of her hand in a comforting manner.

“And I you, Swan. And I you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there's thaaat! i am not as proud of this work as i want to be, but i hope you enjoyed it anyways :) i am working on another one-shot that might turn into a series so let's see how that goes! thanks for reading, i love y'all <3


End file.
